2016 was a year of losses for most of the people that I know, including myself. It seems the whole country faced difficulties and traumas that led to new realizations about themselves, the people around them and their future. For me I faced changes in all three. 2016 felt like a series of hardships determined to knock me down and break me. I laughed with my peers as we called these hardships “L’s”. Now I have realized that these L’s were not just losses but, they were lessons that I learned whether I liked it or not. Even after a year of feeling like the sky is falling, I had to push myself to have hope and keep moving forward.
Last year, I had to comes to terms with things I’ve been trying to ignore since 2015. The biggest thing being the fact that I hated the college I decided to go to. When you are applying to college for the first time in high school, it is a hassle but, you hope to come out of the process with the school of your dreams. In 2015, I ignored a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I was not happy with the choice that I made. While it is easy to joke and blame it on an entire year of my life. It is the choice that I made that year and years prior that truly made the experience hell for me. So I was forced to go through another transition and restart my admissions process. Transferring meant giving up the college experience of my dreams (dorming at a beautiful campus far from home), moving back home after living on my own for a year and moving out of New York to go back to Pennsylvania.
2016 taught me that transitions, even those that are painful, are necessary in life. While it can be easy to dwell on the past, it is better to keep moving forward and let the past be the past. This post is not a pity party; I lost a lot in 2016 but, in 2017 I’m getting something better. This is the year I get my other dreams right. I have the lessons about myself and life to make the right decision for the first time. I haven’t started at my new school yet but, I’m sure that I will be happier than I was at my last one. I have the support of my family now that I am home, I have the stability of friendships that I’ve had for years and I have faith in myself. As for my past college experience, I can’t really say I’m happy I got the experience but, at least I learned to be more grateful for what I have. What I went through at that school is a blog post for another day.