And if it isn’t love

Why do I feel this way?



    First thing’s first, I have seriously been dreading doing this blog entry. Have you ever gotten extremely invested in a relationship you have with someone that is not official yet? You know you have the feelings but, you never have the conversation to take the relationship to the next level. The truth is, he (or she) probably doesn’t want to. It sucks because in the time that you two have been texting, calling, hang out and going on dates that aren’t officially dates, what once was just a crush has developed into feelings that you can’t claim and don’t really understand. Situationships suck because they leave you with all the heartbreak and in the end you just feel guilty for allowing the relationship run so rampant without making it an official relationship. If someone wants to be with you they will let you know so don’t allow them to waste your time or play with your heart. Obviously situationships never result in actual relationships and that is because not only are you allowing this person to take all of the best parts of you without committing but, you never work up the courage to ask them of their intentions.  Once their done taking from you they can just leave and that’s the main difference between a relationship and a situationship.

“We were never official…what does he owe me? He doesn’t owe me an explanation. I got carried away.”

    The guilt that you feel after being involved in such an emotionally draining relationship feels just like a break up. You mourn a relationship that never was and even worse you blame yourself for what happened.

“Did I get boring? Was I not funny enough?”

    The truth in the matter is that while the other person does have responsibility in what has happened between you two, you have to share the blame. Not because you were not enough for them but, because somewhere along the road you decided that this was the type of relationship that was enough for you. The situationships I have been involved in got the better of me because I gave the reins to my heart instead of using my head when going into these relationships. While it is not a bad thing to be emotional, it is only troublesome for you to not think these situationships through. In the end it just makes you easier to be taken advantage of. Demand answers from this guy (or girl) and if you don’t get the one you wanted or one at all, walk away!

If you find that you are currently in a situationship and looking for some tunes for tough times, I’ll share my playlist from this summer on my twitter! @MayatheeMartian



8 thoughts on “And if it isn’t love

  1. Couldn’t have said it better! I think many of us have been in this at some point or another but have been afraid to talk about it. Thank you for sharing as I can relate! Nice to know there are others who have been through or dealt with it as well.


  2. That’s why honestly and conversation are a must at any stage of the relationship. I usually try to verbalize my feelings and expectations early, that way there are no wrong expectations. Great article.


  3. Yeah I get really emotional in my relationships. I’ve had to reel myself so much. I’ve been in a relationship for a while now and I’ve learned to control myself lol


  4. This is a tough situation to be in. Very tough. Thank you for sharing although I’m sure it wasn’t easy to do so.


  5. Ugh, this is probably the worst! I’ve never really been in this particular situations but a lot of my friends have, and it’s so hard to try and offer advice! Your post totally makes sense and puts things into perspective, though!


  6. Situationships are soo sticky because they’re almost destined for somebody to get hurt. I’d even say to one of your points that the heartaches are worse than from an actual relationship because the emotions are so twisted from the feelings of rejection you described. You never know when there will be an “end” in sight because there was never really a beginning.


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